5 Signs of Dissociation

Today, we will discuss dissociation because it's much more common than people think. Research shows us that over 50% of people will have at least one dissociative episode in their lifetime. So we should all be a little bit more informed about what it is and what it isn't. The first sign of dissociation is memory loss. Like have you ever driven yourself home from work and not remember how you got there? Guilty. Or you have some intense news and you don't remember the rest of your day after receiving that news? Memory loss is by far the most common symptom of dissociation. And one that if we take the time to think about it is pretty easy to identify. And it makes sense why it happens, right? Because if you remember dissociation occurs when what's going on in our life is just too much to deal with or too much to process in the moment. So our brain pulls the ripcord on reality just for a minute or so so that we can get through it and be okay. Dissociation pulls us out of our body or environment or possibly both. If we aren't present in our minds when we're doing things, it's gonna be incredibly difficult to remember what we're doing or what's going on. We can even come to while doing things and have no idea what it is we're doing or where we are. And I've heard of this happening to many of you when you have a big presentation or do something that you're scared of. Since it's too stressful or overwhelming for our system, our brain just pulls us away from it for a minute until it's okay for us to return to our consciousness. I know that sounds kind of weird but that's just how it works. This can be the most uncomfortable treat of dissociation and why most of you have told me that you wish it would just go away altogether. But remember dissociation is protective. And as we process through what's causing it like maybe it's a past trauma or a specifically stressful situation or what have you and even building up our resiliency, right? So that we're able to manage stressful events as they come as we do all of that, they can and will go away for good.

The second sign is feeling like you're watching yourself do something and you don't have any control over it or what you're doing. And I know this one sounds a bit more intense but if we think about it, when we go up on stage to give a talk or presentation or maybe we played sports as a child, this could happen when we go up to bat or when we step out on the mat. It's scary, it's overwhelming. And we could feel out of our own body for even just a little bit. I know personally when I give talks to large groups of people, back when that was common, I would have no recollection of how it went. The day that my grandfather passed away I had to give a talk at YouTube Space, New York. I was already in New York. My mom had called me in the morning to let me know what happened cause she didn't want me to find out from some other member of my family or online, you know. So first thing before I even go to YouTube Space to give the talk, I get that news. And afterward, after I gave my talk, I had no idea how it went. Honestly now if I even try to recall, no memory, it's like it didn't even happen. And I kept asking my friend Dan who had brought me out to give the talk I'm like, did it go okay? Did I do what you wanted? Like I couldn't even remember. I was just too stressed out, I didn't have any time to process what I just learned before having to give the talk. I think I had like an hour. It's like my brain just did what it needed to do to get me through it. It's amazing what our body and brain can do to keep us going and to get through tough situations. And sometimes I think it can be good, you know, even if we hate the dissociation now it can be good to be grateful for the times it allowed us to survive and keep going.

The third sign is feeling lightheaded. I know many of you are already thinking, well, Katie, there are a lot of reasons that someone could feel lightheaded and you are correct. However, when this symptom pairs with another one that we were discussing here, then it may be associated with your dissociation and not the fact that maybe you stood up too fast or whatever. When we feel disconnected from ourselves or our environment this can cause us to feel faint. Many of my patients who struggle with dissociation have told me over and over how they felt that they were going to pass out or fall. And that feeling is what like, whoop! Jerk them back to reality. It can also be what pushes us deeper into our dissociative state because feeling lightheaded can be a little bit scary and overwhelming and overwhelm our nervous system yet again. The fourth sign is that we don't feel any pain. If we are disconnected mentally from ourselves or our environment it could make it difficult if not impossible for us to feel any emotional pain. That's sort of why dissociation occurs in the first place to give us a break from all that we feel so that we can, calm down, feel okay, and return to our brain and body. But another side effect is that we often don't feel any physical pain when we dissociate either. This has been the reason that many of my patients self-injured. Self-injuring helps them to bring themselves back and make them feel something or at least, you know that's what I've heard, that's what you guys have told me. Although they report that they often don't feel the pain they normally do that can lead them to harm themselves more than they had planned. But it makes sense because if we don't like feeling spaced out or disconnected from ourselves, we could do things to help bring us back. Even if those things are harmful themselves. We can feel like there's nothing else that will work. And if you struggle with this, I would encourage you to try other things like squeezing an ice cube or snapping a rubber band on your wrist. I know it's not quite as effective as self-injurious behavior but it's safer. And if you have self-injured while dissociating and coming only to realize that you harmed yourself more than you had planned, please, please, please go to the hospital and see a doctor immediately. Infections like cellulitis and others are very serious and need medical attention right away. We don't want our infection to get into our blood and cause even more harm to our system So please go in and get the medical attention you need and deserve.

Finally, the fifth sign is that we can feel like we don't know who we are. When we are disconnected from ourselves often and for long periods, we can start to lose touch with who we think we are or at least become confused about it. This can be exacerbated by people telling us about a situation or memory that they have that we don't due to our dissociation. This can be confusing and cause us to wonder who we are, what we like or don't like, and if we even remember enough about ourselves and our lives to figure it out. This is by far the worst part of dissociation and I believe it can lead to symptoms of depression if it's not addressed. That's why it's vitally important that if any of the symptoms sound familiar to you, you let your therapist know or reach out to a therapist in your area. I know COVID has changed things but therapy was offered online for a long time before this pandemic and it's still available now. There are sites like Talkspace, BetterHelp, and many others.