5 Ways to Teach People How to Treat Us Properly!

Today I am talking about boundaries. Many of you have reached out to me and said that you have struggled to establish healthy boundaries with people in your life. Now, why do we even need boundaries? Many of us have people in our lives who treat us poorly, they talk down to us, boss us around, or can be rude and aggressive. And we have struggled to find a way to tell them to stop. So today I will teach you five steps on how to help people treat you better.

There may have been a time in our lives when we were too young, or we didn't have any control over our situation. And therefore we had no other option, but to let people treat us in an undesirable way. But now, we are grownups. Even if we are teens, we are still adults enough to teach people how to treat us properly. Now, one of the things we often don't realize, is that we are reinforcing some of this undesirable behavior.

Let's give an example: So let's say we have someone in our life who's bossy, really pushy, and they are aggressive, and they keep asking for things, Until, we're exhausted, we don't want to fight with them and we give in, and they get their way. Now you can see that reinforces their behavior because they got pushy and aggressive and they got what they wanted. And who would have even thought that was reinforcing this "bad boundary" or "undesirable behavior", but it is. The First step to teaching people how to better treat us is noticing these times when we may be reinforcing bad behavior. Because we often don't even realize we're doing it. So if we can take time, and pay attention to when we give in to people, we may say "yes" when we mean to say "no", Someone is just really pushy, so we always just let them have their way. Start recognizing when this is happening, because that is where we can start.

The second Step: is knowing that you have the right to always walk away from someone if they are speaking to you rudely. I find many of my clients, even myself, sometimes, feeling like I have to have certain conversations, or I am forced, to have to sit there and be berated by someone. Or, to stay on the phone while someone is just making me feel like shit. But, you know what? We have the right to walk away. Recognizing that power, gets us one step closer, to self-respect. Which is really what I am trying to teach you. It's the core of who we are, and what we believe we deserve. And it's from that that we can teach others how to better treat us.

The third step is knowing that we have the right, always, to say no, if something is not in our best interest. If it is way out of our way to take someone to the airport. If it is inconvenient for us to "swing by" easily, and just pick up that thing for someone. We can say no. And recognizing that we have that right, doesn't make us a jerk, it doesn't make us selfish, It doesn't mean that we are so rude and a horrible person. It means that we recognize what is convenient and what makes sense for us, And when things don't make sense, we have the right and the ability to say no, at any time.

The fourth step is recognizing that we have the insight, and, we have realized relationships and situations that just really feel icky and are unhealthy, and we can distance ourselves from those people. Now, I know that many of you, may live at home, I have had many messages from people saying, "But what if my parents are toxic?" and "What if they're the ones that are overstepping boundaries?" We still can distance ourselves. In certain situations, we can make sure that we are not around them. Or we are not part of the discussion, or we are not available to talk about this certain situation, that we don't want involved in. We can still emotionally distance ourselves in certain situations so we protect our self-respect. So that we don't get drawn into unhealthy relationships, where people try to invade our privacy or share our privacy with other people, which may be very rigid and restrictive, This helps give us the power to say, "You know what? I am not going to participate right now."I'm busy." "I have to go."Oh, you want to talk? I'm sorry I already have other plans, I will be back later."We can do that.

The fifth and most important step is teaching other people to treat us better and sticking with it. If you ever get deterred, if you find yourself feeling like, "I'm such a jerk!""I know they're going to hate me!""I am never going to have any friends, and everything is going to be terrible..."Think to yourself, is it more important than other people like me? Or that I like me? Oftentimes I find that we look outward so much for affirmation to build our self-esteem, so that we feel good about how we look, and present to others, and we forget about our self-respect. And that's where true compassion, true love, and true life comes from, is self-respect. Respecting who you are, recognizing your strengths, and taking time to notice those, to write those things down. Why do we love ourselves? And if we don't find anything at the beginning, we're like, "I don't know what I love?"That's where you need to start. It's taking time to recognize what is so wonderful and unique about you. Because everyone has those things! Once we begin this process, stick with it! Because I will tell you this, You're worth it!

5 Ways to Teach People How to Treat Us Properly!